Sonnet 149

How can you deny my love when I prove it by betraying myself in every way—only you command me, I worship your very flaws.

Original

Modern

1 Canst thou O cruel, say I love thee not,

Canst thou, O cruel! say I love thee not,

2 When I against my self with thee partake?

When I against my self with thee partake?

3 Do I not think on thee when I forgot

Do I not think on thee, when I forgot,

4 Am of my self, all-tyrant, for thy sake?

All sense but what in thee is still forgot?

5 Who hateth thee that I do call my friend,

Within what bounds should my desire keep,

6 On whom frown’st thou that I do fawn upon,

In pursuit of harms precious enemy?

7 Nay if thou lour’st on me do I not spend

But, ah! desire still cries, 'Give me some food!'

8 Revenge upon my self with present moan?

Or I shall faint: O let me have therefore,

Volta The volta abandons questions and shifts to accusation. The speaker indicts himself for his own degradation, then turns resignation into capitulation: he accepts her tyranny.

9 What merit do I in my self respect,

Some blood that visits my sad heart and do,

10 That is so proud thy service to despise,

That thou hast blood that visits my sad heart,

11 When all my best doth worship thy defect,

Frail fancy's followers. But then I fear,

12 Commanded by the motion of thine eyes?

As air and water do abate the fire,

13 But love hate on for now I know thy mind,

So should that beauty, which I do so admire,

14 Those that can see thou lov’st, and I am blind.

final despair: accepting blindness

But hath no power to breed a second fire.

Loyalty as Self-Erasure

Lines 5–7 are extraordinary: the speaker hates anyone she hates, loves anyone she loves, abandons anyone she frowns upon. This is not love; it is total identification with the beloved, a loss of self. He has made himself her mirror, reflecting only her preferences and rejecting his own agency. By line 13, he 'hate[s]' on command.

Blindness as Awareness

The couplet's paradox: knowing her mind means accepting he is blind. Knowledge and blindness are one. He is aware of her cruelty and his own debasement yet cannot stop. The 'motion of thine eyes' commands him absolutely—he is literally a puppet animated by her gaze. This is the nadir of the sequence's enslavement theme.

If this happened today

Like someone who changes their circle of friends to match their partner's preferences, attacks their own sense of self-worth to prove devotion, and then realizes their partner doesn't reciprocate—only values people who maintain their independence.

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