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Act 3, Scene 2 — A street in Windsor
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The argument Mistress Page teases Robin about his newfound importance as Falstaff's page; Ford encounters them on the street and becomes convinced that Falstaff is seducing his wife through Robin's intermediacy; Ford resolves to catch them together; later, he invites everyone to dinner and reveals his plan to catch Falstaff with his wife.
Enter Mistress Page following Robin.
MISTRESS PAGE Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

Nay, keep your way, little gallant. You were wont to be a follower, but

now you are a leader. Whether had you rather, lead mine eyes, or eye

your master’s heels?

No, keep your way, little gallant. You were wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader. Whether had you rather, lead mine eyes, or eye your master’s heels?

no, keep your way, little gallant. you were wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader. whether had you rather, lead mine eyes, or eye your master’s heels?

no, keep your way, little gallant. you were wont t

""
ROBIN ROBIN's declaration

I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man than follow him like a

dwarf.

I had rather, truly, go before you like a man than follow him like a dwarf.

i had rather, truly, go before you like a man than follow him like a dwarf.

i had rather, truly, go before you like a man t

MISTRESS PAGE Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

O, you are a flattering boy! Now I see you’ll be a courtier.

O, you are a flattering boy! Now I see you’ll be a courtier.

o, you are a flattering boy! now i see you’ll be a courtier.

o, you are a flattering boy! now i see you’ll be a

Enter Ford.
FORD
Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you?
MISTRESS PAGE Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at home?

Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at home?

truly, sir, to see your wife. is she at home?

truly, sir, to see your wife. is she at home?

FORD Jealously suspicious; possessively protective of his wife

Ay, and as idle as she may hang together, for want of company. I think

if your husbands were dead you two would marry.

Yes, and as idle as she may hang together, for want of company. I think if your husbands were dead you two would Well.

yes, and as idle as she may hang together, for want of company. i think if your husbands were dead you two would well.

yes, and as idle as she may hang together, for wan

MISTRESS PAGE Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

Be sure of that—two other husbands.

Be sure of that—two other husbands.

be sure of that—two other husbands.

be sure of that—two other husbands.

FORD Jealously suspicious; possessively protective of his wife

Where had you this pretty weathercock?

Where had you this pretty weathercock?

where had you this pretty weathercock?

where had you this pretty weathercock?

MISTRESS PAGE Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of. What

do you call your knight’s name, sirrah?

I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of. What do you call your knight’s name, sir?

i cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of. what do you call your knight’s name, sir?

i cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husb

ROBIN ROBIN's declaration

Sir John Falstaff.

Sir John Falstaff.

sir john falstaff.

sir john falstaff.

FORD Jealously suspicious; possessively protective of his wife

Sir John Falstaff!

Sir John Falstaff!

sir john falstaff!

sir john falstaff!

MISTRESS PAGE Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

He, he; I can never hit on’s name. There is such a league between my

good man and he! Is your wife at home indeed?

He, he; I can never hit on’s name. There is such a league between my good man and he! Is your wife at home indeed?

he, he; i can never hit on’s name. there is such a league between my good man and he! is your wife at home indeed?

he, he; i can never hit on’s name. there is such a

FORD Jealously suspicious; possessively protective of his wife

Indeed she is.

Indeed she is.

indeed she is.

indeed she is.

MISTRESS PAGE Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

By your leave, sir, I am sick till I see her.

By your leave, sir, I am sick till I see her.

by your leave, sir, i am sick till i see her.

by your leave, sir, i am sick till i see her.

[_Exeunt Mistress Page and Robin._]
FORD
Has Page any brains? Hath he any eyes? Hath he any thinking? Sure, they
sleep; he hath no use of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty
mile as easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank twelve score. He pieces
out his wife’s inclination, he gives her folly motion and advantage.
And now she’s going to my wife, and Falstaff’s boy with her. A man may
hear this shower sing in the wind. And Falstaff’s boy with her! Good
plots they are laid, and our revolted wives share damnation together.
Well, I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of
modesty from the so-seeming Mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a
secure and wilful Actaeon, and to these violent proceedings all my
neighbours shall cry aim. [_Clock strikes_.] The clock gives me my cue,
and my assurance bids me search. There I shall find Falstaff. I shall
be rather praised for this than mocked, for it is as positive as the
earth is firm that Falstaff is there. I will go.
Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Sir Hugh Evans, Caius and Rugby.
SHALLOW, PAGE, etc.
Well met, Master Ford.
FORD Jealously suspicious; possessively protective of his wife

Trust me, a good knot. I have good cheer at home, and I pray you all go

with me.

Trust me, a good knot. I have good cheer at home, and I pray you all go with me.

trust me, a good knot. i have good cheer at home, and i pray you all go with me.

trust me, a good knot. i have good cheer at home,

SHALLOW Outraged dignity; demanding public respect and legal redress

I must excuse myself, Master Ford.

I must excuse myself, Master Ford.

i must excuse myself, master ford.

i must excuse myself, master ford.

SLENDER Nervous and evasive; talking about everything except what he should

And so must I, sir; we have appointed to dine with Mistress Anne, and I

would not break with her for more money than I’ll speak of.

So, um... is she... does she seem like a good person?

So like, is she cool? I guess we could... you know?

does she seem nice

i guess we could get married

idk

SHALLOW Outraged dignity; demanding public respect and legal redress

We have lingered about a match between Anne Page and my cousin Slender,

and this day we shall have our answer.

We have lingered about a match between Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we will have our answer.

we have lingered about a match between anne page and my cousin slender, and this day we will have our answer.

we have lingered about a match between anne page a

SLENDER Nervous and evasive; talking about everything except what he should

I hope I have your good will, father Page.

I hope I have your good will, father Page.

i hope i have your good will, father page. or something?

i hope i have your good will, father pag

PAGE Reasonable and practical; trying to keep things civil

You have, Master Slender, I stand wholly for you.—But my wife, Master

doctor, is for you altogether.

You have, Master Slender, I stand wholly for you.—But my wife, Master doctor, is for you altogether.

you have, master slender, i stand wholly for you.—but my wife, master doctor, is for you altogether.

you have, master slender, i stand wholly for you.—

CAIUS Angry and combative; defending his honor

Ay, be-gar; and de maid is love-a me! My nursh-a Quickly tell me so

mush.

Yes, be-gar; and the maid is love-a me! My nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.

yes, be-gar; and the maid is love-a me! my nursh-a quickly tell me so mush.

yes, be-gar; and the maid is love-a me! my nursh-a

HOST HOST's declaration

What say you to young Master Fenton? He capers, he dances, he has eyes

of youth, he writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells April and May.

He will carry ’t, he will carry ’t. ’Tis in his buttons he will carry

’t.

What say you to young Master Fenton? He capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells April and May. He will carry ’t, he will carry ’t. ’Tis in his buttons he will carry ’t.

what say you to young master fenton? he capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells april and may. he will carry ’t, he will carry ’t. ’tis in his buttons he will carry ’t.

what say you to young master fenton? he capers, he

PAGE Reasonable and practical; trying to keep things civil

Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is of no having. He

kept company with the wild Prince and Poins. He is of too high a

region, he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes

with the finger of my substance. If he take her, let him take her

simply. The wealth I have waits on my consent, and my consent goes not

that way.

Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is of no having. He kept company with the wild Prince and Poins. He is of too high a region, he knows too much. No, he will not knit a knot in his fortunes with the finger of my substance. If he take her, let him take her simply. The wealth I have waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that way.

not by my consent, i promise you. the gentleman is of no having. he kept company with the wild prince and poins. he is of too high a region, he knows too much. no, he will not knit a knot in his fortunes with the finger of my substance. if he take her, let him take her simply. the wealth i have waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that way.

not by my consent, i promise you. the gentleman is

FORD Jealously suspicious; possessively protective of his wife

I beseech you, heartily, some of you go home with me to dinner. Besides

your cheer, you shall have sport: I will show you a monster. Master

Doctor, you shall go; so shall you, Master Page, and you, Sir Hugh.

I beseech you, heartily, some of you go home with me to dinner. Besides your cheer, you will have sport: I will show you a monster. Master Doctor, you will go; so will you, Master Page, and you, Sir Hugh.

i beseech you, heartily, some of you go home with me to dinner. besides your cheer, you will have sport: i will show you a monster. master doctor, you will go; so will you, master page, and you, sir hugh.

i beseech you, heartily, some of you go home with

SHALLOW Outraged dignity; demanding public respect and legal redress

Well, fare you well. We shall have the freer wooing at Master Page’s.

Well, fare you well. We will have the freer wooing at Master Page’s.

well, fare you well. we will have the freer wooing at master page’s.

well, fare you well. we will have the freer wooing

[_Exeunt Shallow and Slender._]
CAIUS
Go home, John Rugby; I come anon.
[_Exit Rugby._]
HOST
Farewell, my hearts. I will to my honest knight Falstaff, and drink
canary with him.
[_Exit Host._]
FORD
[_Aside_.] I think I shall drink in pipe-wine first with him; I’ll make
him dance.—Will you go, gentles?
ALL ALL's declaration

Have with you to see this monster.

Have with you to see this monster.

have with you to see this monster.

have with you to see this monster.

[_Exeunt._]

The Reckoning

Ford's paranoia takes concrete shape: he sees Robin carrying a message to Mistress Ford and instantly constructs an entire narrative of seduction. The evidence he gathers is laughably thin — a young boy walking with a woman — but in his mind it confirms everything. His soliloquy is a masterclass in the anxious male imagination: Robin is 'a cannon,' the women are 'revolted wives,' Falstaff's a 'monster.' Ford's jealousy doesn't observe reality; it manufactures it.

If this happened today…

Imagine a husband sees his wife talking to an attractive colleague, and his brain immediately rewrites the conversation as an affair, replays every recent late meeting as cover, and decides he'll 'catch them' by coming home early. That's Ford. He doesn't have evidence; he has a story, and the world is just props in it.

Continue to 3.3 →