Ajax communicates mainly through repetition and physical force — when he has no comeback, he hits. Watch for how he condemns in Achilles the exact qualities he embodies himself.
Thersites!
Thersites!
thersites!
thersites!
Thersites speaks in coarse, inventive abuse — his insults are always specific and always true. Watch for how he simultaneously mocks everyone present and speaks the play's most accurate observations about the war's absurdity.
Agamemnon—how if he had boils, full, all over, generally?
Agamemnon—how if he had boils, full, all over, generally?
agamemnon—how if he had boils, full, all over, generally?
agamemnon—how if he had boils, full, all over, generally?
Thersites!
Thersites!
thersites!
thersites!
And those boils did run—say so. Did not the general run then? Were not
that a botchy core?
And those boils did run—say so. Did not the general run then? Were not that a botchy core?
and those boils did run—say so. did not the general run then? were not that a botchy core?
and those boils did run—say so. did not the general run
Dog!
Dog!
dog!
dog!
Then there would come some matter from him;
I see none now.
Then there would come some matter from him; I see none now.
then there would come some matter from him; i see none now.
then there would come some matter from him; i see none now.
Thou bitch-wolf’s son, canst thou not hear? Feel, then.
you bitch-wolf’s son, canst you not hear? Feel, then.
you bitch-wolf’s son, canst you not hear? feel, then.
you bitch-wolf’s son, canst you not hear? feel, then.
The plague of Greece upon thee, thou mongrel beef-witted lord!
The plague of Greece upon you, you mongrel beef-witted lord!
the plague of greece upon you, you mongrel beef-witted lord!
the plague of greece upon you, you mongrel beef-witted lord!
Speak, then, thou unsalted leaven, speak. I will beat thee into
handsomeness.
Speak, then, you unsalted leaven, speak. I will beat you into handsomeness.
speak, then, you unsalted leaven, speak. i will beat you into handsomeness.
speak, then, you unsalted leaven, speak. i will beat you
I shall sooner rail thee into wit and holiness; but I think thy horse
will sooner con an oration than thou learn a prayer without book. Thou
canst strike, canst thou? A red murrain o’ thy jade’s tricks!
I shall sooner rail you into wit and holiness; but I think your horse will sooner con an oration than you learn a prayer without book. you canst strike, canst thou? A red murrain o’ your jade’s tricks!
i shall sooner rail you into wit and holiness; but i think your horse will sooner con an oration than you learn a prayer without book. you canst strike, canst thou? a red murrain o’ your jade’s tricks!
i shall sooner rail you into wit and holiness; but i think
Toadstool, learn me the proclamation.
Toadstool, learn me the proclamation.
toadstool, learn me the proclamation.
toadstool, learn me the proclamation.
Dost thou think I have no sense, thou strikest me thus?
Dost you think I have no sense, you strikest me thus?
dost you think i've no sense, you strikest me thus?
dost you think i've no sense, you strikest me thus?
The proclamation!
The proclamation!
the proclamation!
the proclamation!
Thou art proclaim’d fool, I think.
you art proclaim’d fool, I think.
you art proclaim’d fool, i think.
you art proclaim’d fool, i think.
Do not, porpentine, do not; my fingers itch.
Do not, porpentine, do not; my fingers itch.
do not, porpentine, do not; my fingers itch.
do not, porpentine, do not; my fingers itch.
I would thou didst itch from head to foot and I had the scratching of
thee; I would make thee the loathsomest scab in Greece. When thou art
forth in the incursions, thou strikest as slow as another.
I would you didst itch from head to foot and I had the scratching of you; I would make you the loathsomest scab in Greece. When you art forth in the incursions, you strikest as slow as another.
i would you didst itch from head to foot and i had the scratching of you; i would make you the loathsomest scab in greece. when you art forth in the incursions, you strikest as slow as another.
i would you didst itch from head to foot and i had the
I say, the proclamation.
I say, the proclamation.
i say, the proclamation.
i say, the proclamation.
Thou grumblest and railest every hour on Achilles; and thou art as full
of envy at his greatness as Cerberus is at Proserpina’s beauty—ay, that
thou bark’st at him.
you grumblest and railest every hour on Achilles; and you art as full of envy at his greatness as Cerberus is at Proserpina’s beauty—ay, that you bark’st at him.
you grumblest and railest every hour on achilles; and you art as full of envy at his greatness as cerberus is at proserpina’s beauty—ay, that you bark’st at him.
you grumblest and railest every hour on achilles; and you
Mistress Thersites!
Mistress Thersites!
mistress thersites!
mistress thersites!
Thou shouldst strike him.
you shouldst strike him.
you shouldst strike him.
you shouldst strike him.
Cobloaf!
Cobloaf!
cobloaf!
cobloaf!
He would pun thee into shivers with his fist, as a sailor breaks a
biscuit.
He would pun you into shivers with his fist, as a sailor breaks a biscuit.
he would pun you into shivers with his fist, as a sailor breaks a biscuit.
he would pun you into shivers with his fist, as a sailor
You whoreson cur!
You whoreson cur!
you whoreson cur!
you whoreson cur!
Do, do.
Do, do.
do, do.
do, do.
Thou stool for a witch!
you stool for a witch!
you stool for a witch!
you stool for a witch!
Thersites is the play's most important minor character. He functions like a Shakespearean fool — commenting on the action, puncturing pretension, telling the truth nobody else will — but he has no license. He's not protected by a court role. Ajax can hit him and does. His abuse is both the most honest and the most powerless speech in the play. His central observation — that the whole war is fought over 'a whore and a cuckold' — is accurate. His claim that Ulysses and Nestor are using Ajax and Achilles as draft oxen is accurate. And yet nothing he says changes anything. The truth-teller without institutional protection is just a man getting beaten. Watch for how his presence in a scene always signals that the scene's official meaning is probably wrong.
Ay, do, do; thou sodden-witted lord! Thou hast no more brain than I
have in mine elbows; an asinico may tutor thee. You scurvy valiant ass!
Thou art here but to thrash Trojans, and thou art bought and sold among
those of any wit like a barbarian slave. If thou use to beat me, I will
begin at thy heel and tell what thou art by inches, thou thing of no
bowels, thou!
Ay, do, do; you sodden-witted lord! you hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows; an asinico may tutor you. You scurvy valiant ass! you art here but to thrash Trojans, and you art bought and sold among those of any wit like a barbarian slave. If you use to beat me, I will begin at your heel and tell what you art by inches, you thing of no bowels, thou!
ay, do, do; you sodden-witted lord! you hast no more brain than i've in mine elbows; an asinico may tutor you. you scurvy valiant ass! you art here but to thrash trojans, and you art bought and sold among those of any wit like a barbarian slave. if you use to beat me, i will begin at your heel and tell what you art by inches, you thing of no bowels, thou!
ay, do, do; you sodden-witted lord! you hast no more brain
You dog!
You dog!
you dog!
you dog!
You scurvy lord!
You scurvy lord!
you scurvy lord!
you scurvy lord!
You cur!
You cur!
you cur!
you cur!
Mars his idiot! Do, rudeness; do, camel; do, do.
Mars his idiot! Do, rudeness; do, camel; do, do.
mars his idiot! do, rudeness; do, camel; do, do.
mars his idiot! do, rudeness; do, camel; do, do.
Achilles is indolent, amused, and accustomed to everyone coming to him. Watch for how he treats Thersites as entertainment while genuinely enjoying the mockery of everyone else.
Why, how now, Ajax! Wherefore do ye thus?
How now, Thersites! What’s the matter, man?
Why, how now, Ajax! Wherefore do ye thus? How now, Thersites! What’s the matter, man?
why, how now, ajax! wherefore do ye thus? how now, thersites! what’s the matter, man?
why, how now, ajax! wherefore do ye thus? how now,
You see him there, do you?
You see him there, do you?
you see him there, do you?
you see him there, do you?
Ay; what’s the matter?
Ay; what’s the matter?
ay; what’s the matter?
ay; what’s the matter?
Nay, look upon him.
Nay, look upon him.
nay, look upon him.
nay, look upon him.
So I do. What’s the matter?
So I do. What’s the matter?
so i do. what’s the matter?
so i do. what’s the matter?
Nay, but regard him well.
Nay, but regard him well.
nay, but regard him well.
nay, but regard him well.
Well! why, so I do.
Well! why, so I do.
well! why, so i do.
well! why, so i do.
But yet you look not well upon him; for whosomever you take him to be,
he is Ajax.
But yet you look not well upon him; for whosomever you take him to be, he is Ajax.
but yet you look not well upon him; for whosomever you take him to be, he is ajax.
but yet you look not well upon him; for whosomever you take
I know that, fool.
I know that, fool.
i know that, fool.
i know that, fool.
Ay, but that fool knows not himself.
Ay, but that fool knows not himself.
ay, but that fool knows not himself.
ay, but that fool knows not himself.
Therefore I beat thee.
Therefore I beat you.
therefore i beat you.
therefore i beat you.
Lo, lo, lo, lo, what modicums of wit he utters! His evasions have ears
thus long. I have bobb’d his brain more than he has beat my bones. I
will buy nine sparrows for a penny, and his pia mater is not worth the
ninth part of a sparrow. This lord, Achilles—Ajax, who wears his wit in
his belly and his guts in his head—I’ll tell you what I say of him.
Lo, lo, lo, lo, what modicums of wit he utters! His evasions have ears thus long. I have bobb’d his brain more than he has beat my bones. I will buy nine sparrows for a penny, and his pia mater is not worth the ninth part of a sparrow. This lord, Achilles—Ajax, who wears his wit in his belly and his guts in his head—I’ll tell you what I say of him.
lo, lo, lo, lo, what modicums of wit he utters! his evasions have ears thus long. i've bobb’d his brain more than he has beat my bones. i will buy nine sparrows for a penny, and his pia mater is not worth the ninth part of a sparrow. this lord, achilles—ajax, who wears his wit in his belly and his guts in his head—i’ll tell you what i say of him.
lo, lo, lo, lo, what modicums of wit he utters! his
What?
What?
what?
what?
I say this Ajax—
I say this Ajax—
i say this ajax—
i say this ajax—
Nay, good Ajax.
Nay, good Ajax.
nay, good ajax.
nay, good ajax.
Has not so much wit—
Has not so much wit—
has not so much wit—
has not so much wit—
Nay, I must hold you.
Nay, I must hold you.
nay, i must hold you.
nay, i must hold you.
As will stop the eye of Helen’s needle, for whom he comes to fight.
As will stop the eye of Helen’s needle, for whom he comes to fight.
as will stop the eye of helen’s needle, for whom he comes to fight.
as will stop the eye of helen’s needle, for whom he comes
Peace, fool.
Peace, fool.
peace, fool.
peace, fool.
I would have peace and quietness, but the fool will not— he there; that
he; look you there.
I would have peace and quietness, but the fool will not— he there; that he; look you there.
i would have peace and quietness, but the fool will not— he there; that he; look you there.
i would have peace and quietness, but the fool will not— he
Ajax is one of the greatest warriors in Greek mythology — the second-best fighter after Achilles, the man who carried Achilles's body from the battlefield. Shakespeare's Ajax is something between a parody and a tragic figure: vain, stupid, envious, unable to see that he's being managed. The irony of his final question — 'O, meaning you?' (meaning Achilles) — is that he immediately takes away the possibility that the challenge is for him. His entire conversation with Achilles, and his sudden departure 'to learn more,' is exactly the mechanism Ulysses intended. The machine is running.
O thou damned cur! I shall—
O you damned cur! I shall—
o you damned cur! i shall—
o you damned cur! i shall—
Will you set your wit to a fool’s?
Will you set your wit to a fool’s?
will you set your wit to a fool’s?
will you set your wit to a fool’s?
No, I warrant you, the fool’s will shame it.
No, I warrant you, the fool’s will shame it.
no, i warrant you, the fool’s will shame it.
no, i warrant you, the fool’s will shame it.
Patroclus is Achilles's companion and mirror — he tries to maintain decorum Achilles doesn't bother with. Watch for how thin his patience is when Thersites aims at him.
Good words, Thersites.
Good words, Thersites.
good words, thersites.
good words, thersites.
What’s the quarrel?
What’s the quarrel?
what’s the quarrel?
what’s the quarrel?
I bade the vile owl go learn me the tenour of the proclamation, and he
rails upon me.
I bade the vile owl go learn me the tenour of the proclamation, and he rails upon me.
i bade the vile owl go learn me the tenour of the proclamation, and he rails upon me.
i bade the vile owl go learn me the tenour of the
I serve thee not.
I serve you not.
i serve you not.
i serve you not.
Well, go to, go to.
Well, go to, go to.
well, go to, go to.
well, go to, go to.
I serve here voluntary.
I serve here voluntary.
i serve here voluntary.
i serve here voluntary.
Your last service was suff’rance; ’twas not voluntary. No man is beaten
voluntary. Ajax was here the voluntary, and you as under an impress.
Your last service was suff’rance; ’twas not voluntary. No man is beaten voluntary. Ajax was here the voluntary, and you as under an impress.
your last service was suff’rance; ’twas not voluntary. no man is beaten voluntary. ajax was here the voluntary, and you as under an impress.
your last service was suff’rance; ’twas not voluntary. no
E’en so; a great deal of your wit too lies in your sinews, or else
there be liars. Hector shall have a great catch and knock out either of
your brains: a’ were as good crack a fusty nut with no kernel.
E’en so; a great deal of your wit too lies in your sinews, or else there be liars. Hector shall have a great catch and knock out either of your brains: a’ were as good crack a fusty nut with no kernel.
e’en so; a great deal of your wit too lies in your sinews, or else there be liars. hector shall have a great catch and knock out either of your brains: a’ were as good crack a fusty nut with no kernel.
e’en so; a great deal of your wit too lies in your sinews,
What, with me too, Thersites?
What, with me too, Thersites?
what, with me too, thersites?
what, with me too, thersites?
There’s Ulysses and old Nestor—whose wit was mouldy ere your grandsires
had nails on their toes—yoke you like draught oxen, and make you plough
up the wars.
There’s Ulysses and old Nestor—whose wit was mouldy ere your grandsires had nails on their toes—yoke you like draught oxen, and make you plough up the wars.
there’s ulysses and old nestor—whose wit was mouldy ere your grandsires had nails on their toes—yoke you like draught oxen, and make you plough up the wars.
there’s ulysses and old nestor—whose wit was mouldy ere
What, what?
What, what?
what, what?
what, what?
Yes, good sooth. To Achilles, to Ajax, to—
Yes, good sooth. To Achilles, to Ajax, to—
yes, good sooth. to achilles, to ajax, to—
yes, good sooth. to achilles, to ajax, to—
I shall cut out your tongue.
I shall cut out your tongue.
i shall cut out your tongue.
i shall cut out your tongue.
’Tis no matter; I shall speak as much as thou afterwards.
’Tis no matter; I shall speak as much as you afterwards.
’tis no matter; i shall speak as much as you afterwards.
’tis no matter; i shall speak as much as you afterwards.
No more words, Thersites; peace!
No more words, Thersites; peace!
no more words, thersites; peace!
no more words, thersites; peace!
I will hold my peace when Achilles’ brach bids me, shall I?
I will hold my peace when Achilles’ brach bids me, shall I?
i will hold my peace when achilles’ brach bids me, shall i?
i will hold my peace when achilles’ brach bids me, shall i?
There’s for you, Patroclus.
There’s for you, Patroclus.
there’s for you, patroclus.
there’s for you, patroclus.
I will see you hang’d like clotpoles ere I come any more to your tents.
I will keep where there is wit stirring, and leave the faction of
fools.
I will see you hang’d like clotpoles ere I come any more to your tents. I will keep where there is wit stirring, and leave the faction of fools.
i will see you hang’d like clotpoles ere i come any more to your tents. i will keep where there is wit stirring, and leave the faction of fools.
i will see you hang’d like clotpoles ere i come any more to
A good riddance.
A good riddance.
a good riddance.
a good riddance.
Marry, this, sir, is proclaim’d through all our host,
That Hector, by the fifth hour of the sun,
Will with a trumpet ’twixt our tents and Troy,
Tomorrow morning, call some knight to arms
That hath a stomach; and such a one that dare
Maintain I know not what; ’tis trash. Farewell.
Marry, this, sir, is proclaim’d through all our host, That Hector, by the fifth hour of the sun, Will with a trumpet ’twixt our tents and Troy, Tomorrow morning, call some knight to arms That has a stomach; and such a one that dare Maintain I know not what; ’tis trash. Farewell.
marry, this, sir, is proclaim’d through all our host, that hector, by the fifth hour of the sun, will with a trumpet ’twixt our tents and troy, tomorrow morning, call some knight to arms that has a stomach; and such a one that dare maintain i know not what; ’tis trash. farewell.
marry, this, sir, is proclaim’d through all our host, that
Farewell. Who shall answer him?
Farewell. Who shall answer him?
farewell. who shall answer him?
farewell. who shall answer him?
I know not; ’tis put to lott’ry, otherwise,
He knew his man.
I know not; ’tis put to lott’ry, otherwise, He knew his man.
i know not; ’tis put to lott’ry, otherwise, he knew his man.
i know not; ’tis put to lott’ry, otherwise, he knew his man.
O, meaning you? I will go learn more of it.
O, meaning you? I will go learn more of it.
o, meaning you? i will go learn more of it.
o, meaning you? i will go learn more of it.
The Reckoning
This is the play's comic engine at full blast. Thersites is the fool who tells the truth everyone else is too polite to say — and his truth is that the whole war is idiotic, all the generals are stupid, and the only currency anyone respects is violence. Ajax hitting him and calling himself in the right is the play's thesis statement in miniature. The scene ends with Achilles letting slip the lottery — and Ajax, hearing it might not be aimed at him, immediately deciding he must investigate.
If this happened today…
A manager at a failing company keeps hitting an honest intern who points out the company strategy is failing. The CEO drops by, finds the intern hilarious, and lets him explain exactly how everyone in leadership is incompetent. The intern points out that the CEO and the manager are being played by consultants. The intern quits. The manager, now alone with the CEO, learns there's an award coming — and isn't sure if it's for him.