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Act 3, Scene 5 — London. The Tower Walls
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The argument Richard and Buckingham appear on the Tower walls in battered, rusty armor — a deliberate performance of embattled legitimacy. When the Lord Mayor arrives with Catesby, they interrupt every sentence with fake military alarms: 'Look to the drawbridge! Hark, a drum! God and our innocence defend us!' — manufacturing crisis before presenting Hastings' severed head. Richard mourns Hastings with an elegant speech about how deeply he trusted this man — who hid his treachery so well. Buckingham spins the cover story: Hastings plotted to murder them both in the council meeting. The Mayor accepts the explanation and volunteers to tell the citizens. Once he's gone, Richard and Buckingham drop the act. Buckingham is dispatched to the Guildhall to spread propaganda: Edward IV's children are bastards (by claiming his marriage to Elizabeth was invalid); Edward was a rapist and libertine; and, if really pushed, drop a careful hint that Edward himself was illegitimate — 'touch this sparingly, as 'twere far off, because my mother lives.' Buckingham goes to Guildhall; Richard sends for the preachers Shaa and Penker to stage the scene at Baynard's Castle. He then takes private steps to cut off Clarence's children from any contact with the princes.
Enter Richard and Buckingham in rotten armour, marvellous ill-favoured.
RICHARD ≋ verse [testing whether Buckingham can execute the performance—the theatrical demand]

Come, cousin, canst thou quake and change thy colour,

Murder thy breath in middle of a word,

And then again begin, and stop again,

As if thou were distraught and mad with terror?

Come, cousin, can you shake and change your color, stop your breath mid-sentence, and weep false tears on command? If you can perform like this, the Mayor will swallow our story whole.

Can you act terrified? Can you stop talking in the middle of a word, cry, look afraid? If you can do all that, the Mayor will believe anything we tell him.

can you act? shake, change color stop talking weep at will? if so the mayor's ours

BUCKINGHAM ≋ verse [Buckingham boasting of his theatrical skill and readiness]

Tut, I can counterfeit the deep tragedian;

Speak, and look back, and pry on every side,

Tremble and start at wagging of a straw,

Intending deep suspicion. Ghastly looks

Are at my service, like enforced smiles,

And both are ready in their offices,

At anytime to grace my stratagems.

But what, is Catesby gone?

I can perform the tragic actor perfectly—I'll speak, and look back, pry about nervously, wring my hands, take sighs of distress, and cast my eyes around for enemies. I'll make the Mayor believe that we're under siege and barely holding the Tower against conspirators.

I can do it perfectly. I'll look scared, keep glancing around, wring my hands, sigh like I'm dying, act like enemies are everywhere. The Mayor will think we're under attack.

i can act i'll look terrified glance around wring my hands sigh he'll think we're under siege

RICHARD [announcing the Mayor's arrival, executing the plan]

He is; and, see, he brings the Mayor along.

Yes, and see—he brings the Mayor with him.

There he is, and he's got the Mayor.

there's the mayor

Enter the Lord Mayor and Catesby.
BUCKINGHAM [greeting the Mayor, about to interrupt himself]

Lord Mayor—

Lord Mayor—

Lord Mayor—

mayor—

RICHARD [manufactured alarm—look to the drawbridge]

Look to the drawbridge there!

Watch the drawbridge!

Guard the drawbridge!

drawbridge!

BUCKINGHAM [second theatrical interrupt—a drum signal]

Hark, a drum.

Hear, a drum!

A drum!

drum!

RICHARD [third interrupt—ordering Catesby to watch the walls]

Catesby, o’erlook the walls.

Catesby, watch the walls!

Catesby—guard the walls!

watch the walls!

BUCKINGHAM [trying to speak to the Mayor between interrupts]

Lord Mayor, the reason we have sent—

Lord Mayor, the reason we have summoned—

Lord Mayor, we called you here because—

mayor the reason we sent—

RICHARD [another alarm—look back, enemies]

Look back! Defend thee, here are enemies.

Look behind! Defend yourself—there are enemies!

Behind us! Enemies! Defend!

behind! enemies!

BUCKINGHAM [the full cry of alarm—God protect us]

God and our innocence defend and guard us!

God and our innocence protect and guard us!

God help us! We're innocent!

god protect us we're innocent

Enter Lovell and Ratcliffe with Hastings’ head.
RICHARD [reassuring the Mayor—just friends arriving]

Be patient, they are friends, Ratcliffe and Lovell.

Be calm, they are friends—Ratcliffe and Lovell.

Don't worry, those are just Ratcliffe and Lovell. Friends.

don't worry they're friends ratcliffe lovell

LOVELL ≋ verse [presenting the head as evidence of treachery]

Here is the head of that ignoble traitor,

The dangerous and unsuspected Hastings.

Here is the head of that dishonorable traitor, the dangerous and unsuspected Hastings.

Here's the head of that traitor Hastings—dangerous and hiding his crimes.

hastings' head the traitor unmask himself

RICHARD ≋ verse [elegantly mourning Hastings while displaying his head—performative grief masking calculation]

So dear I loved the man that I must weep.

I took him for the plainest harmless creature

That breathed upon the earth a Christian;

Made him my book, wherein my soul recorded

The history of all her secret thoughts.

So smooth he daubed his vice with show of virtue

That, his apparent open guilt omitted—

I mean his conversation with Shore’s wife—

He lived from all attainder of suspects.

I loved that man so dearly that I must weep. I took him for the most honest, harmless creature who ever drew breath as a Christian. He was my confidant, the book where my soul wrote itself. I trusted him with my thoughts, my secrets, my very heart. To find betrayal hidden so deep—it breaks me.

I really cared about him. I thought he was the most honest guy alive. He was my best friend, the person I trusted completely. To find out he was plotting against me—it's devastating.

i loved him he was honest i trusted him completely to find this out breaks my heart

BUCKINGHAM ≋ verse [Buckingham amplifying the accusation with false shock]

Well, well, he was the covert’st sheltered traitor

That ever lived.—

Would you imagine, or almost believe,

Were’t not that by great preservation

We live to tell it, that the subtle traitor

This day had plotted, in the council-house,

To murder me and my good lord of Gloucester?

He was the most secretive traitor who ever lived. Would you believe, had we not survived by God's grace, that this man plotted to murder both of us in the council chamber today?

He was the sneakiest traitor ever. Would you even believe that if we hadn't stopped him, he was planning to kill both of us in the council meeting today?

the sneakiest traitor we had no idea he was planning to murder us in the council today

MAYOR [the Mayor questioning the story—a moment of doubt he doesn't press]

Had he done so?

He truly intended to do this?

He really was going to do that?

really?

RICHARD ≋ verse [Richard defending the execution as legal necessity, not tyranny]

What, think you we are Turks or Infidels?

Or that we would, against the form of law,

Proceed thus rashly in the villain’s death,

But that the extreme peril of the case,

The peace of England, and our persons’ safety,

Enforced us to this execution?

What—do you think we are like heathens who act on whim? Would we execute him without legal process, except that the danger was so extreme, England's peace so threatened, and our own lives in such immediate peril that we had no choice but this action?

What, you think we're barbarians? We wouldn't just kill someone without proper legal cause, except the threat was so extreme, England's survival was at stake, and we had to act now or we'd all die.

we're not savages we followed the law but the threat was extreme england's peace our lives

MAYOR ≋ verse [the Mayor accepting the narrative without scrutiny]

Now, fair befall you! He deserved his death,

And your good Graces both have well proceeded,

To warn false traitors from the like attempts.

Luck and blessing on you. He deserved to die, and your Graces have done well by executing him—a warning to other false traitors.

Good luck and God's blessing. He had it coming, and you both did the right thing—it'll scare off the other traitors.

he deserved it you did well warning to others

BUCKINGHAM ≋ verse [Buckingham covering their tracks—adding an excuse for why Hastings confessed nothing]

I never looked for better at his hands

After he once fell in with Mistress Shore.

Yet had we not determined he should die

Until your lordship came to see his end

Which now the loving haste of these our friends,

Something against our meanings, have prevented,

Because, my lord, we would have had you heard

The traitor speak, and timorously confess

The manner and the purpose of his treasons,

That you might well have signified the same

Unto the citizens, who haply may

Misconster us in him, and wail his death.

I never expected better from him after he took up with Mistress Shore. But we hadn't actually decided he should die until you came to witness the ending ourselves—which these eager friends prevented by acting without our permission. We wanted you to hear him confess, so you could report his treasons to the citizens, who might otherwise believe we acted rashly.

I should've known better once he got involved with Shore. But we didn't decide to execute him until you got here—these guys jumped the gun and acted before we told them to. We wanted you to hear him confess so you could tell the people we had good reason.

after he got with shore we knew but we wanted you to hear his confession so the citizens would understand

MAYOR ≋ verse [the Mayor assuring them he will spread the story without question]

But, my good lord, your Grace’s word shall serve

As well as I had seen and heard him speak;

And do not doubt, right noble princes both,

But I’ll acquaint our duteous citizens

With all your just proceedings in this case.

Your word is enough for me, noble Dukes. I will tell the citizens everything I've seen and heard, and they will trust your judgment.

I don't need more than your word. I'll tell the citizens what I saw here, and they'll believe you.

your word is enough i'll tell the people everything

RICHARD ≋ verse [Richard positioning the Mayor as their shield against public suspicion]

And to that end we wished your lordship here,

T’ avoid the censures of the carping world.

That's why we wanted you here—to protect us from the world's gossip.

That's exactly why we brought you in—to show the city we did this right.

that's why we wanted you to be the witness to prove we acted justly

BUCKINGHAM ≋ verse [Buckingham dismissing the Mayor before he can ask uncomfortable questions]

But since you come too late of our intent,

Yet witness what you hear we did intend.

And so, my good Lord Mayor, we bid farewell.

Since you arrived too late to see the whole thing, what you've heard now is enough to report. We bid you farewell, Lord Mayor.

But since you didn't see it all yourself, what you know now is enough to tell people. Goodbye, Lord Mayor.

you got here late what you know is enough farewell

[_Exit Lord Mayor._]
RICHARD ≋ verse [Richard assigning the real propaganda work—the bastardy argument at Guildhall]

Go, after, after, cousin Buckingham.

The Mayor towards Guildhall hies him in all post.

There, at your meet’st advantage of the time,

Infer the bastardy of Edward’s children;

Tell them how Edward put to death a citizen

Only for saying he would make his son

Heir to the Crown—meaning indeed his house,

Which, by the sign thereof, was termed so.

Moreover, urge his hateful luxury

And bestial appetite in change of lust,

Which stretched unto their servants, daughters, wives,

Even where his raging eye or savage heart,

Without control, lusted to make a prey.

Nay, for a need, thus far come near my person:

Tell them, when that my mother went with child

Of that insatiate Edward, noble York

My princely father then had wars in France,

And, by true computation of the time,

Found that the issue was not his begot;

Which well appeared in his lineaments,

Being nothing like the noble Duke, my father.

Yet touch this sparingly, as ’twere far off;

Because, my lord, you know my mother lives.

Go after Buckingham. The Mayor is heading to Guildhall in a hurry. When you get the chance, tell them: Edward declared a man a traitor for predicting his son would be king—he meant his bloodline. Also mention his sexual violence—his uncontrolled lust toward any woman he desired, noble or common. And here's what you must use carefully: Edward's father was in France when Edward was born, and Edward looked nothing like him. Mention this very subtly, almost as an afterthought, because I can't directly accuse my own mother of adultery—she's still alive.

Follow Buckingham to Guildhall before the Mayor gets there. When you can, tell the people: Edward killed a man just for saying Edward's son would inherit—he was crazy about bloodlines. Also bring up how he assaulted women, used his power to prey on them. And here's the dangerous one you have to soft-pedal: Edward's father was out of the country when Edward was born, and Edward looked nothing like him. Hint at it like you're almost mentioning it by accident, because if I directly say my mother had an affair with someone else, it'll destroy her—she's still alive.

edward's children are bastards edward was a rapist and maybe even edward was illegitimate but don't say that out loud my mother's alive

BUCKINGHAM ≋ verse [Buckingham swearing he'll make the argument as if his own fortune depends on it]

Doubt not, my lord, I’ll play the orator

As if the golden fee for which I plead

Were for myself. And so, my lord, adieu.

I promise you, I'll argue your case as passionately as if I had a fortune to gain from it myself. Farewell.

I swear I'll make the case like I'm fighting for my own life. See you later.

i'll argue like it's for me like my fortune depends on it

RICHARD ≋ verse [Richard directing the next scene—Baynard's Castle, the bishops, the prayer book]

If you thrive well, bring them to Baynard’s Castle,

Where you shall find me well accompanied

With reverend fathers and well-learned bishops.

If you succeed with the citizens, bring them to Baynard's Castle, where I'll be waiting surrounded by bishops and learned divines.

When you get them on our side, bring them to Baynard's Castle. I'll be there with a bunch of bishops and priests.

if it works bring them to baynard's i'll be there with bishops

BUCKINGHAM ≋ verse [Buckingham confirming he'll return with news around mid-afternoon]

I go; and towards three or four o’clock

Look for the news that the Guildhall affords.

I'm going. Look for news from Guildhall around three or four this afternoon.

I'll go. Expect to hear how Guildhall reacts around three or four.

i'm going look for news three or four o'clock

[_Exit._]
RICHARD [Richard sending for the preachers who will stage the religious cover]

Go, Lovell, with all speed to Doctor Shaa.

Lovell, go quickly to Doctor Shaa.

Lovell, go find Doctor Shaa right now.

lovell go to shaa fast

[_To Ratcliffe_.] Go thou to Friar Penker; bid them both
Meet me within this hour at Baynard’s Castle.
[_Exeunt Ratcliffe and Lovell._]
Now will I go to take some privy order
To draw the brats of Clarence out of sight,
And to give order that no manner person
Have any time recourse unto the Princes.
[_Exit._]

The Reckoning

[object Object]

If this happened today…

Two executives appear in a press conference dressed like they've been in a hostage situation. They show the cameras 'evidence' of a colleague's crimes. They mourn their trusted friend who 'turned out' to be a criminal. The company's communications director goes to brief the financial press with the story they've prepared: the CEO's children from his first marriage aren't legally entitled to inherit (because the prenup was invalid); the CEO was a well-known harasser (true, conveniently); and — very quietly — there may be questions about the CEO's actual parentage that affect share inheritance. Nudge nudge. Don't quote us on that last one.

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