Bardolph, I say!
Bardolph, I say!
bardolph, i say!
bardolph, i say!
Here, sir.
Here, sir.
here, sir.
here, sir.
Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in ’t.
Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in ’t.
go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in ’t.
go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in ’t.
Come, let me pour in some sack to the Thames water, for my belly’s as
cold as if I had swallowed snowballs for pills to cool the reins. Call
her in.
Come, let me pour in some sack to the Thames water, for my belly’s as cold as if I had swallowed snowballs for pills to cool the reins. Call her in.
come, let me pour in some sack to the thames water, for my belly’s as cold as if i had swallowed snowballs for pills to cool the reins. call her in.
come, let me pour in some sack to the thames water
Come in, woman.
Come in, woman.
come in, woman.
come in, woman.
By your leave, I cry you mercy. Give your worship good morrow.
By your leave, I cry you mercy. Give your worship good morrow.
by your leave, i cry you mercy. give your worship good morrow.
by your leave, i cry you mercy. give your worship
Take away these chalices. Go, brew me a pottle of sack finely.
Take away these chalices. Go, brew me a pottle of sack finely.
take away these chalices. go, brew me a pottle of sack finely.
take away these chalices. go, brew me a pottle of
Falstaff's account of his suffering in the basket is not merely comic. It's a portrait of physical degradation that borders on tragic. He begins with indignation ('Have I lived to be carried in a basket like a barrow of butcher's offal'), moves through self-pity ('I should have been a mountain of mummy'), and culminates in a baroque description of suffering that reveals his complete understanding of his own body's betrayal. The monologue works because Falstaff is fully aware of what has happened to him: he has been treated not as a man but as garbage. Yet the audience also understands something Falstaff refuses to: his suffering is the just reward for his schemes. The comedy comes from the gap between his sense of injustice and the audience's recognition that he deserved exactly what he got.
With eggs, sir?
With eggs, sir?
with eggs, sir?
with eggs, sir?
Simple of itself. I’ll no pullet sperm in my brewage.
Simple of itself. I’ll no pullet sperm in my brewage.
simple of itself. i’ll no pullet sperm in my brewage.
simple of itself. i’ll no pullet sperm in my brewa
Marry, sir, I come to your worship from Mistress Ford.
Well, sir, I come to your worship from Mistress Ford.
well, sir, i come to your worship from mistress ford.
well, sir, i come to your worship from mistress fo
Mistress Ford? I have had ford enough. I was thrown into the ford, I
have my belly full of ford.
I see a lovely woman and I cannot help but notice.
I see a pretty woman, I'm gonna say something nice.
shes beautiful
im just noticing
Alas the day, good heart, that was not her fault. She does so take on
with her men; they mistook their erection.
Alas the day, good heart, that was not her fault. She does so take on with her men; they mistook their erection.
alas the day, good heart, that was not her fault. she does so take on with her men; they mistook their erection.
alas the day, good heart, that was not her fault.
So did I mine, to build upon a foolish woman’s promise.
I see a lovely woman and I cannot help but notice.
I see a pretty woman, I'm gonna say something nice.
shes beautiful
im just noticing
Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would yearn your heart to see
it. Her husband goes this morning a-birding; she desires you once more
to come to her, between eight and nine. I must carry her word quickly.
She’ll make you amends, I warrant you.
Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would yearn your heart to see it. Her husband goes this morning a-birding; she desires you once more to come to her, between eight and nine. I must carry her word quickly. She’ll make you amends, I warrant you.
well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would yearn your heart to see it. her husband goes this morning a-birding; she desires you once more to come to her, between eight and nine. i must carry her word quickly. she’ll make you amends, i warrant you.
well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would year
Well, I will visit her. Tell her so, and bid her think what a man is.
Let her consider his frailty, and then judge of my merit.
Well, I will visit her. Tell her so, and bid her think what a man is. Let her consider his frailty, and then judge of my merit.
well, i will visit her. tell her so, and bid her think what a man is. let her consider his frailty, and then judge of my merit.
well, i will visit her. tell her so, and bid her t
I will tell her.
I will tell her.
i will tell her.
i will tell her.
Do so. Between nine and ten, sayst thou?
Do so. Between nine and ten, sayst you?
do so. between nine and ten, sayst you?
do so. between nine and ten, sayst you?
Eight and nine, sir.
Eight and nine, sir.
eight and nine, sir.
eight and nine, sir.
Well, be gone. I will not miss her.
Well, be gone. I will not miss her.
well, be gone. i will not miss her.
well, be gone. i will not miss her.
Peace be with you, sir.
Peace be with you, sir.
peace be with you, sir.
peace be with you, sir.
I marvel I hear not of Master Brook; he sent me word to stay within. I
like his money well. O, here he comes.
A man who laughs at his own jokes is welcome in any company.
A guy who can laugh at himself is good company.
laughing at yourself
thats what matters
Now, Master Brook, you come to know what hath passed between me and
Ford’s wife?
Now, Master Brook, you come to know what has passed between me and Ford’s wife?
now, master brook, you come to know what has passed between me and ford’s wife?
now, master brook, you come to know what has passe
That indeed, Sir John, is my business.
That indeed, Sir John, is my business.
that indeed, sir john, is my business.
that indeed, sir john, is my business.
Master Brook, I will not lie to you. I was at her house the hour she
appointed me.
Master Brook, I will not lie to you. I was at her house the hour she appointed me.
master brook, i will not lie to you. i was at her house the hour she appointed me.
master brook, i will not lie to you. i was at her
And how sped you, sir?
And how sped you, sir?
and how sped you, sir?
and how sped you, sir?
Very ill-favouredly, Master Brook.
Very ill-favouredly, Master Brook.
very ill-favouredly, master brook.
very ill-favouredly, master brook.
The scene's brilliance lies in Ford's disguise. As Master Brook, he must listen to Falstaff boast about embracing 'his' wife (Ford's wife), hear him describe in detail the humiliation he's invented to explain failure, and then hear him vow to try again. Ford's response — 'I shall go distracted' — is the only place where his rage breaks through. The disguise allows him to gather the information he needs while also forcing him to perform civility in the presence of a man who claims to have seduced (or attempted to seduce) his wife. The cruelty is exquisite: Ford must listen without revealing himself, while Falstaff remains completely confident in his own attractiveness and the truth of Ford's wife's desire.
How so, sir? Did she change her determination?
How so, sir? Did she change her determination?
how so, sir? did she change her determination?
how so, sir? did she change her determination?
No. Master Brook, but the peaking cornuto her husband, Master Brook,
dwelling in a continual ’larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant of
our encounter, after we had embraced, kissed, protested, and, as it
were, spoke the prologue of our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of
his companions, thither provoked and instigated by his distemper, and,
forsooth, to search his house for his wife’s love.
No. Master Brook, but the peaking cornuto her husband, Master Brook, dwelling in a continual ’larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant of our encounter, after we had embraced, kissed, protested, and, as it were, spoke the prologue of our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither provoked and instigated by his distemper, and, truly, to search his house for his wife’s love.
no. master brook, but the peaking cornuto her husband, master brook, dwelling in a continual ’larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant of our encounter, after we had embraced, kissed, protested, and, as it were, spoke the prologue of our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither provoked and instigated by his distemper, and, truly, to search his house for his wife’s love.
no. master brook, but the peaking cornuto her husb
What, while you were there?
What, while you were there?
what, while you were there?
what, while you were there?
While I was there.
While I was there.
while i was there.
while i was there.
And did he search for you, and could not find you?
And did he search for you, and could not find you?
and did he search for you, and could not find you?
and did he search for you, and could not find you?
You shall hear. As good luck would have it, comes in one Mistress Page,
gives intelligence of Ford’s approach; and, in her invention and Ford’s
wife’s distraction, they conveyed me into a buck-basket.
I see a lovely woman and I cannot help but notice.
I see a pretty woman, I'm gonna say something nice.
shes beautiful
im just noticing
A buck-basket!
A buck-basket!
a buck-basket!
a buck-basket!
By the Lord, a buck-basket! Rammed me in with foul shirts and smocks,
socks, foul stockings, greasy napkins, that, Master Brook, there was
the rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril.
A man who laughs at his own jokes is welcome in any company.
A guy who can laugh at himself is good company.
laughing at yourself
thats what matters
And how long lay you there?
And how long lay you there?
and how long lay you there?
and how long lay you there?
Nay, you shall hear, Master Brook, what I have suffered to bring this
woman to evil for your good. Being thus crammed in the basket, a couple
of Ford’s knaves, his hinds, were called forth by their mistress to
carry me in the name of foul clothes to Datchet Lane. They took me on
their shoulders, met the jealous knave their master in the door, who
asked them once or twice what they had in their basket. I quaked for
fear lest the lunatic knave would have searched it; but Fate, ordaining
he should be a cuckold, held his hand. Well, on went he for a search,
and away went I for foul clothes. But mark the sequel, Master Brook. I
suffered the pangs of three several deaths: first, an intolerable
fright to be detected with a jealous rotten bell-wether; next, to be
compassed like a good bilbo in the circumference of a peck, hilt to
point, heel to head; and then, to be stopped in, like a strong
distillation, with stinking clothes that fretted in their own grease.
Think of that, a man of my kidney, think of that—that am as subject to
heat as butter; a man of continual dissolution and thaw. It was a
miracle to ’scape suffocation. And in the height of this bath, when I
was more than half stewed in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown
into the Thames and cooled, glowing hot, in that surge, like a
horseshoe! Think of that—hissing hot—think of that, Master Brook.
A man who laughs at his own jokes is welcome in any company.
A guy who can laugh at himself is good company.
laughing at yourself
thats what matters
In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that for my sake you have suffered all
this. My suit, then, is desperate. You’ll undertake her no more?
In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that for my sake you have suffered all this. My suit, then, is desperate. You’ll undertake her no more?
in good sadness, sir, i am sorry that for my sake you have suffered all this. my suit, then, is desperate. you’ll undertake her no more?
in good sadness, sir, i am sorry that for my sake
Master Brook, I will be thrown into Etna, as I have been into Thames,
ere I will leave her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a-birding;
I have received from her another embassy of meeting. ’Twixt eight and
nine is the hour, Master Brook.
Master Brook, I will be thrown into Etna, as I have been into Thames, before I will leave her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a-birding; I have received from her another embassy of meeting. ’Twixt eight and nine is the hour, Master Brook.
master brook, i will be thrown into etna, as i have been into thames, before i will leave her thus. her husband is this morning gone a-birding; i have received from her another embassy of meeting. ’twixt eight and nine is the hour, master brook.
master brook, i will be thrown into etna, as i hav
’Tis past eight already, sir.
’Tis past eight already, sir.
’tis past eight already, sir.
’tis past eight already, sir.
Is it? I will then address me to my appointment. Come to me at your
convenient leisure, and you shall know how I speed; and the conclusion
shall be crowned with your enjoying her. Adieu. You shall have her,
Master Brook. Master Brook, you shall cuckold Ford.
A man who laughs at his own jokes is welcome in any company.
A guy who can laugh at himself is good company.
laughing at yourself
thats what matters
The Reckoning
The scene is Falstaff at his most delusional — he has just been literally thrown in a river and he believes Mistress Quickly's story that it was all a terrible mistake and that Mistress Ford still wants him. His willingness to be duped again is not stupidity; it's appetite. The audience sees Ford's barely contained rage as he listens to Falstaff boast about embracing 'his' wife, and the comedy comes from the gap between what Falstaff thinks he's accomplished and what actually happened.
If this happened today…
Imagine a con man gets thrown in a river by his marks and then immediately believes when they send a messenger saying 'come back, we still love you, that was a total accident.' That's Falstaff. His confidence in his own attractiveness is stronger than evidence.