Jack Rugby!
Jack Rugby!
jack rugby!
jack rugby!
Sir?
Sir?
sir?
sir?
Vat is de clock, Jack?
Vat is the clock, Jack?
vat is the clock, jack?
vat is the clock, jack?
’Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet.
’Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet.
’tis past the hour, sir, that sir hugh promised to meet.
’tis past the hour, sir, that sir hugh promised to
By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come. He has pray his Pible
well dat he is no come. By gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he
be come.
By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come. He has pray his Pible well dat he is no come. By gar, Jack Rugby, he is thead already, if he be come.
by gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come. he has pray his pible well dat he is no come. by gar, jack rugby, he is thead already, if he be come.
by gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come. h
He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill him if he came.
He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill him if he came.
he is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill him if he came.
he is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill h
By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him. Take your rapier,
Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him.
By gar, the herring is no thead so as I vill kill him. Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him.
by gar, the herring is no thead so as i vill kill him. take your rapier, jack; i vill tell you how i vill kill him.
by gar, the herring is no thead so as i vill kill
Alas, sir, I cannot fence.
Alas, sir, I cannot fence.
alas, sir, i cannot fence.
alas, sir, i cannot fence.
Villainy, take your rapier.
Villainy, take your rapier.
villainy, take your rapier.
villainy, take your rapier.
Forbear; here’s company.
Forbear; here’s company.
forbear; here’s company.
forbear; here’s company.
The Host of the Garter is the play's most interesting minor character precisely because he has no stake in any of the play's main conflicts and yet involves himself in all of them. He maintains Evans (who brings him clerical and community connections), Caius (who brings him aristocratic patients and status), Falstaff (who lives in his inn and drinks his sack), and now he's playing the two would-be duellists against each other for entertainment. He's not malicious — he clearly enjoys people — but he's a man who derives pleasure and profit from the chaos around him. His false translations to Caius ('mockwater' = valor, 'clapper-claw' = make amends) are the moves of someone who finds foreign-language confusion inherently funny. Shakespeare gives him a stream of nicknames and invented titles ('bully doctor,' 'Aesculapius,' 'my Ethiopian') that signal a man who experiences the world primarily as a source of material.
God save you, Master Doctor Caius!
God save you, Master Doctor Caius!
god save you, master doctor caius!
god save you, master doctor caius!
Now, good Master Doctor!
Now, good Master Doctor!
now, good master doctor!
now, good master doctor!
Give you good morrow, sir.
Give you good morrow, sir.
give you good morrow, sir. or something?
give you good morrow, sir.
Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?
Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?
vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?
vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?
To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse; to see thee
here, to see thee there; to see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy
reverse, thy distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he
dead, my Francisco? Ha, bully? What says my Aesculapius, my Galen, my
heart of elder, ha? Is he dead, bully stale? Is he dead?
To see you fight, to see you foin, to see you traverse; to see you here, to see you there; to see you pass your punto, your stock, your reverse, your distance, your montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Francisco? Ha, bully? What says my Aesculapius, my Galen, my heart of elder, ha? Is he dead, bully stale? Is he dead?
to see you fight, to see you foin, to see you traverse; to see you here, to see you there; to see you pass your punto, your stock, your reverse, your distance, your montant. is he dead, my ethiopian? is he dead, my francisco? ha, bully? what says my aesculapius, my galen, my heart of elder, ha? is he dead, bully stale? is he dead?
to see you fight, to see you foin, to see you t
By gar, he is de coward Jack-priest of de vorld. He is not show his
face.
By gar, he is the coward Jack-priest of the vorld. He is not show his face.
by gar, he is the coward jack-priest of the vorld. he is not show his face.
by gar, he is the coward jack-priest of the vorld.
Thou art a Castalion King Urinal Hector of Greece, my boy!
you are a Castalion King Urinal Hector of Greece, my boy!
you are a castalion king urinal hector of greece, my boy!
you are a castalion king urinal hector of greece,
I pray you, bear witness that me have stay six or seven, two, tree
hours for him, and he is no come.
I pray you, bear witness that me have stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come.
i pray you, bear witness that me have stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come.
i pray you, bear witness that me have stay six or
He is the wiser man, Master doctor. He is a curer of souls, and you a
curer of bodies. If you should fight, you go against the hair of your
professions. Is it not true, Master Page?
He is the wiser man, Master doctor. He is a curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies. If you should fight, you go against the hair of your professions. Is it not true, Master Page?
he is the wiser man, master doctor. he is a curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies. if you should fight, you go against the hair of your professions. is it not true, master page?
he is the wiser man, master doctor. he is a curer
Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a
man of peace.
Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a man of peace.
master shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a man of peace.
master shallow, you have yourself been a great fig
Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old, and of the peace, if I see
a sword out, my finger itches to make one. Though we are justices and
doctors and churchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of our youth in
us. We are the sons of women, Master Page.
Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old, and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make one. Though we are justices and doctors and churchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of our youth in us. We are the sons of women, Master Page.
bodykins, master page, though i now be old, and of the peace, if i see a sword out, my finger itches to make one. though we are justices and doctors and churchmen, master page, we have some salt of our youth in us. we are the sons of women, master page.
bodykins, master page, though i now be old, and of
’Tis true, Master Shallow.
’Tis true, Master Shallow.
’tis true, master shallow.
’tis true, master shallow.
The Evans-Caius duel is the most thoroughly defused threat in Shakespeare — it's challenged in 1-4, prepared for through 2-3 and 3-1, and never actually happens. The comedy isn't in the fight but in the anticipation of a fight that keeps not materializing. Caius's boasts about what he would have done to Evans if Evans had appeared are funnier for the conditional tense: 'he would be dead already, if he had come.' He's the mightiest fighter in a fight nobody showed up for. This is Shakespeare playing with comic structure — the audience expects a duel scene and gets instead a scene about not dueling, which is often funnier.
It will be found so, Master Page.—Master Doctor Caius, I come to fetch
you home. I am sworn of the peace. You have showed yourself a wise
physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise and patient
churchman. You must go with me, Master Doctor.
It will be found so, Master Page.—Master Doctor Caius, I come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace. You have showed yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh has shown himself a wise and patient churchman. You must go with me, Master Doctor.
it will be found so, master page.—master doctor caius, i come to fetch you home. i am sworn of the peace. you have showed yourself a wise physician, and sir hugh has shown himself a wise and patient churchman. you must go with me, master doctor.
it will be found so, master page.—master doctor ca
Pardon, guest justice.—A word, Monsieur Mockwater.
Pardon, guest justice.—A word, Monsieur Mockwater.
pardon, guest justice.—a word, monsieur mockwater.
pardon, guest justice.—a word, monsieur mockwater.
Mockvater? Vat is dat?
Mockvater? Vat is dat?
mockvater? vat is dat?
mockvater? vat is dat?
Mockwater, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.
Mockwater, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.
mockwater, in our english tongue, is valour, bully.
mockwater, in our english tongue, is valour, bully
By gar, then I have as much mockvater as de Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog
priest! By gar, me vill cut his ears.
By gar, then I have as much mockvater as the Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! By gar, me vill cut his ears.
by gar, then i have as much mockvater as the englishman. scurvy jack-dog priest! by gar, me vill cut his ears.
by gar, then i have as much mockvater as the engli
He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
He will clapper-claw you tightly, bully.
he will clapper-claw you tightly, bully.
he will clapper-claw you tightly, bully.
Clapper-de-claw? Vat is dat?
Clapper-the-claw? Vat is dat?
clapper-the-claw? vat is dat?
clapper-the-claw? vat is dat?
That is, he will make thee amends.
That is, he will make you amends.
that is, he will make you amends.
that is, he will make you amends.
By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me, for, by gar, me vill
have it.
By gar, me do look he will clapper-the-claw me, for, by God, me vill have it.
by gar, me do look he will clapper-the-claw me, for, by god, me vill have it.
by gar, me do look he will clapper-the-claw me, fo
And I will provoke him to’t, or let him wag.
And I will provoke him to’t, or let him wag.
and i will provoke him to’t, or let him wag.
and i will provoke him to’t, or let him wag.
Me tank you for dat.
Me tank you for dat.
me tank you for dat.
me tank you for dat.
And, moreover, bully—but first, Master guest, and Master Page, and eke
Cavaliero Slender, go you through the town to Frogmore.
PAGE
And, moreover, bully—but first, Master guest, and Master Page, and eke Cavaliero Slender, go you through the town to Frogmore. PAGE
and, moreover, bully—but first, master guest, and master page, and eke cavaliero slender, go you through the town to frogmore. page
and, moreover, bully—but first, master guest, and
Merry Wives is unusual in Shakespeare for its concentration of national comedy — a Welshman (Evans), a Frenchman (Caius), and the aggressively English Windsor community. Both Evans and Caius speak with marked accent-based comedy (Evans's 'b' for 'p,' Caius's 'gar' for 'God,' his 'd' for 'th'). Modern readers sometimes find this uncomfortable; Elizabethan audiences found it hilarious. But the play is careful not to make the foreigners simply foolish — Evans is actually the shrewdest character in the play's civic scenes, and Caius, for all his bluster, has genuine social standing. Their eventual alliance against the Host (a native Englishman) is a small subversive note: the two comic foreigners end up outsmarting the English trickster.
bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?
bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?
bring the doctor about by the fields. will it do well?
bring the doctor about by the fields. will it do w
PAGE, SHALLOW and SLENDER
Adieu, good Master Doctor.
PAGE, SHALLOW and SLENDER Adieu, good Master Doctor.
page, shallow and slender adieu, good master doctor.
page, shallow and slender adieu, good master docto
Let him die. Sheathe thy impatience; throw cold water on thy choler. Go
about the fields with me through Frogmore. I will bring thee where
Mistress Anne Page is, at a farm-house a-feasting, and thou shalt woo
her. Cried game! Said I well?
Let him die. Sheathe your impatience; throw cold water on your choler. Go about the fields with me through Frogmore. I will bring you where Mistress Anne Page is, at a farm-house a-feasting, and you will woo her. Cried game! Said I well?
let him die. sheathe your impatience; throw cold water on your choler. go about the fields with me through frogmore. i will bring you where mistress anne page is, at a farm-house a-feasting, and you will woo her. cried game! said i well?
let him die. sheathe your impatience; throw cold wa
By gar, me tank you for dat. By gar, I love you; and I shall procure-a
you de good guest: de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my
patients.
By gar, me tank you for dat. By gar, I love you; and I will procure-a you the good guest: the earl, the knight, the lords, the gentlemen, my patients.
by gar, me tank you for dat. by gar, i love you; and i will procure-a you the good guest: the earl, the knight, the lords, the gentlemen, my patients.
by gar, me tank you for dat. by gar, i love you; a
For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page. Said I well?
For the which I will be your adversary toward Anne Page. Said I well?
for the which i will be your adversary toward anne page. said i well?
for the which i will be your adversary toward anne
By gar, ’tis good; vell said.
By gar, ’tis good; vell said.
by gar, ’tis good; vell said.
by gar, ’tis good; vell said.
Let us wag, then.
Let us wag, then.
let us wag, then.
let us wag, then.
Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
come at my heels, jack rugby.
come at my heels, jack rugby.
The Reckoning
A short scene of pure farce that does two things at once: it shows the Host playing both sides in the Evans-Caius duel, and it plants the seed of revenge — when Evans and Caius eventually discover they were both sent to wrong locations, they'll team up against the Host. For now we just enjoy a furious French doctor waving his rapier at a man who refuses to fence.
If this happened today…
A manager sends two feuding employees to fight it out, but deliberately gives each a different conference room on different floors. Then he arrives to find one of them pacing furiously and says 'You handled that very professionally — let me take you for a drink.' Neither of them realizes they were played.