He speaks in the most elaborate possible constructions — always three synonyms where one would do, always reaching for classical precedent before he'll admit anything plainly human. Watch for the gap between his grandiloquent framing and the utterly ordinary feeling underneath it.
Boy, what sign is it when a man of great spirit grows melancholy?
Boy, what sign is it when a man of great spirit grows melancholy?
Boy, what sign is it when a man of great spirit grows melancholy?
boy, what sign is it when a man of great spirit grows melancholy
The most dangerous wit in the play lives in a boy's body — every answer is technically correct while being a devastating critique of the question. Watch for his asides, which are short, sharp, and always right.
A great sign, sir, that he will look sad.
A great sign, sir, that he will look sad.
A great sign, sir, that he gonna look sad.
a great sign, sir, that he will look sad
Why, sadness is one and the selfsame thing, dear imp.
Why, sadness is one and the selfsame thing, dear imp.
Why, sadness is one and the selfsame thing, dear imp.
why, sadness is one and the selfsame thing, dear imp
No, no, O Lord, sir, no.
No, no, O Lord, sir, no.
No, no, O Lord, sir, no.
no, no, o lord, sir, no
How canst thou part sadness and melancholy, my tender juvenal?
How canst you pare sadness and melancholy, my tender juvenal?
How canst you pare sadness and melancholy, my tender juvenal?
how canst you pare sadness and melancholy, my tender juvenal
By a familiar demonstration of the working, my tough signior.
By a familiar demonstration of the working, my tough signior.
By a familiar demonstration of the working, my tough signior.
by a familiar demonstration of the working, my tough signior
Why tough signior? Why tough signior?
Why tough signior? Why tough signior?
Why tough signior? Why tough signior?
why tough signior why tough signior
Why tender juvenal? Why tender juvenal?
Why tender juvenal? Why tender juvenal?
Why tender juvenal? Why tender juvenal?
why tender juvenal why tender juvenal
I spoke it, tender juvenal, as a congruent epitheton appertaining to
thy young days, which we may nominate tender.
I spoke it, tender juvenal, as a congruent epitheton appertaining to your young days, which we may nominate tender.
I spoke it, tender juvenal, as a congruent epitheton appertaining to your young days, which we may nominate tender.
i spoke it, tender juvenal, as a congruent epitheton appertaining to your young days, which we may n
And I, tough signior, as an appertinent title to your old time, which
we may name tough.
And I, tough signior, as an appertinent title to your old time, which we may name tough.
And I, tough signior, as an appertinent title to your old time, which we may name tough.
and i, tough signior, as an appertinent title to your old time, which we may name tough
Pretty and apt.
Pretty and apt.
Pretty and apt.
pretty and apt
How mean you, sir? I pretty and my saying apt, or I apt, and my saying
pretty?
How mean you, sir? I pretty and my saying apt, or I apt, and my saying pretty?
How mean you, sir? I pretty and my saying apt, or I apt, and my saying pretty?
how mean you, sir
Thou pretty, because little.
you pretty, because little.
you pretty, because little.
you pretty, because little
Little pretty, because little. Wherefore apt?
Little pretty, because little. Wherefore apt?
Little pretty, because little. Wherefore apt?
little pretty, because little wherefore apt
And therefore apt, because quick.
And therefore apt, because quick.
And therefore apt, because quick.
and therefore apt, because quick
Speak you this in my praise, master?
Speak you this in my praise, master?
Speak you this in my praise, master?
speak you this in my praise, master
In thy condign praise.
In your condign praise.
In your condign praise.
in your condign praise
I will praise an eel with the same praise.
I will praise an eel with the same praise.
I gonna praise an eel with the same praise.
i will praise an eel with the same praise
Don Armado is often read as comic relief — the bombastic Spaniard puffed up with pretension — but he functions as the play's most precise satirical instrument. Every character flaw the four lords display in the main plot, Armado displays in grotesque caricature. The lords make an oath they can't keep; Armado announces his own breaking before the scene is half done. The lords dress their love in poetry; Armado dresses his in the prose equivalent of a baroque altarpiece. Most pointedly, Armado's love for Jaquenetta is played as ridiculous because she's socially beneath him — which is exactly how Shakespeare wants us to question whether the ladies in the main plot are simply more socially acceptable versions of the same breach of honor. He's not separate from the play's themes. He's where they go when no one's being polite about them.
What, that an eel is ingenious?
What, that an eel is ingenious?
What, that an eel is ingenious?
what, that an eel is ingenious
That an eel is quick.
That an eel is quick.
That an eel is quick.
that an eel is quick
I do say thou art quick in answers. Thou heat’st my blood.
I do say you are quick in answers. Thou heat’st my blood.
I do say you are quick in answers. Thou heat’st my blood.
i do say you are quick in answers
I am answered, sir.
I am answered, sir.
I am answered, sir.
i am answered, sir
I love not to be crossed.
I love not to be crossed.
I love not to be crossed.
i love not to be crossed
I have promised to study three years with the Duke.
I have promised to study three years with the Duke.
I have promised to study three years with the Duke.
i have promised to study three years with the duke
You may do it in an hour, sir.
You may do it in an hour, sir.
You may do it in an hour, sir.
you may do it in an hour, sir
Impossible.
Impossible.
Impossible.
impossible
How many is one thrice told?
How many is one thrice told?
How many is one thrice told?
how many is one thrice told
I am ill at reckoning. It fitteth the spirit of a tapster.
I am ill at reckoning. It fitteth the spirit of a tapster.
I am ill at reckoning. It fitteth the spirit of a tapster.
i am ill at reckoning
You are a gentleman and a gamester, sir.
You are a gentleman and a gamester, sir.
You are a gentleman and a gamester, sir.
you are a gentleman and a gamester, sir
I confess both. They are both the varnish of a complete man.
I confess both. They are both the varnish of a complete man.
I confess both. They are both the varnish of a complete man.
i confess both
Then I am sure you know how much the gross sum of deuce-ace amounts to.
Then I am sure you know how much the gross sum of deuce-ace amounts to.
Then I am sure you know how much the gross sum of deuce-ace amounts to.
then i am sure you know how much the gross sum of deuce-ace amounts to
It doth amount to one more than two.
It does amount to one more than two.
It does amount to one more than two.
it does amount to one more than two
Which the base vulgar do call three.
Which the base vulgar do call three.
Which the base vulgar do call three.
which the base vulgar do call three
True.
True.
Right.
yeah
Why, sir, is this such a piece of study? Now here’s three studied ere
ye’ll thrice wink. And how easy it is to put “years” to the word
“three”, and study three years in two words, the dancing horse will
tell you.
Why, sir, is this such a piece of study? Now here’s three studied ere ye’ll thrice wink. And how easy it is to put “years” to the word “three”, and study three years in two words, the dancing horse will tell you.
Why, sir, is this such a piece of study? Now here’s three studied ere ye’ll thrice wink. And how easy it is to put “years” to the word “three”, and study three years in two words, the dancing horse will tell you.
why, sir, is this such a piece of study
A most fine figure!
A most fine figure!
A most fine figure!
a most fine figure
Elizabethan theater had a rich tradition of the clever servant who sees through his master's pretensions — Plautine comedy, Italian commedia, the English Vice figure all contributed to the type. But Moth is something unusual: a child whose intelligence is presented without condescension. He is genuinely cleverer than Armado in every exchange, and Shakespeare does not soften this by making Armado sympathetic or Moth malicious. The asides — 'To prove you a cipher,' 'a better love than my master' — are delivered to the audience as a kind of shared understanding: we are in on the joke, and so is Moth, and we are watching Armado from outside the joke together. This creates an unusually modern dramatic relationship. Keep watching Moth — he develops a strange tenderness for his impossible employer that never quite undermines his clear-eyed assessment of him.
I will hereupon confess I am in love; and as it is base for a soldier
to love, so am I in love with a base wench. If drawing my sword against
the humour of affection would deliver me from the reprobate thought of
it, I would take desire prisoner, and ransom him to any French courtier
for a new-devised curtsy. I think scorn to sigh; methinks I should
outswear Cupid. Comfort me, boy. What great men have been in love?
I will hereupon confess I am in love; and as it is base for a soldier to love, so am I in love with a base wench. If drawing my sword against the humour of affection would deliver me from the reprobate yought of it, I would take desire prisoner, and ransom him to any French courtier for a new-devised curtsy. I think scorn to sigh; methinks I should outswear Cupid. Comfort me, boy. What great men have been in love?
I will hereupon confess I am in love; and as it is base for a soldier to love, so am I in love with a base wench. If drawing my sword against the humour of affection would deliver me from the reprobate yought of it, I would take desire prisoner, and ransom him to any French courtier for a new-devise
i will hereupon confess i am in love; and as it is base for a soldier to love, so am i in love with
Hercules, master.
Hercules, master.
Hercules, master.
hercules, master
Most sweet Hercules! More authority, dear boy, name more; and, sweet my
child, let them be men of good repute and carriage.
Most sweet Hercules! More authority, dear boy, name more; and, sweet my child, let them be men of good repute and carriage.
Most sweet Hercules! More authority, dear boy, name more; and, sweet my child, let them be men of good repute and carriage.
most sweet hercules
Samson, master. He was a man of good carriage, great carriage, for he
carried the town gates on his back like a porter, and he was in love.
Samson, master. He was a man of good carriage, great carriage, for he carried the town gates on his back like a porter, and he was in love.
Samson, master. He was a man of good carriage, great carriage, for he carried the town gates on his back like a porter, and he was in love.
samson, master
O well-knit Samson, strong-jointed Samson! I do excel thee in my rapier
as much as thou didst me in carrying gates. I am in love too. Who was
Samson’s love, my dear Moth?
O well-knit Samson, strong-jointed Samson! I do excel you in my rapier as much as you did me in carrying gates. I am in love too. Who was Samson’s love, my dear Moth?
O well-knit Samson, strong-jointed Samson! I do excel you in my rapier as much as you did me in carrying gates. I am in love too. Who was Samson’s love, my dear Moth?
o well-knit samson, strong-jointed samson
A woman, master.
A woman, master.
A woman, master.
a woman, master
Of what complexion?
Of what complexion?
Of what complexion?
of what complexion
Of all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of the four.
Of all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of the four.
Of all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of the four.
of all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of the four
Tell me precisely of what complexion.
Tell me precisely of what complexion.
Tell me precisely of what complexion.
tell me precisely of what complexion
Of the sea-water green, sir.
Of the sea-water green, sir.
Of the sea-water green, sir.
of the sea-water green, sir
Is that one of the four complexions?
Is that one of the four complexions?
Is that one of the four complexions?
is that one of the four complexions
As I have read, sir; and the best of them too.
As I have read, sir; and the best of them too.
As I have read, sir; and the best of them too.
as i have read, sir; and the best of them too
Green indeed is the colour of lovers. But to have a love of that
colour, methinks Samson had small reason for it. He surely affected her
for her wit.
Green indeed is the colour of lovers. But to have a love of that colour, methinks Samson had small reason for it. He surely affected her for her wit.
Green indeed is the colour of lovers. But to have a love of that colour, methinks Samson had small reason for it. He surely affected her for her wit.
green indeed is the colour of lovers
It was so, sir, for she had a green wit.
It was so, sir, for she had a green wit.
It was so, sir, for she had a green wit.
it was so, sir, for she had a green wit
My love is most immaculate white and red.
My love is most immaculate white and red.
My love is most immaculate white and red.
my love is most immaculate white and red
Most maculate thoughts, master, are masked under such colours.
Most maculate youghts, master, are masked under such colours.
Most maculate youghts, master, are masked under such colours.
most maculate youghts, master, are masked under such colours
Define, define, well-educated infant.
Define, define, well-educated infant.
Define, define, well-educated infant.
define, define, well-educated infant
My father’s wit and my mother’s tongue assist me!
My father’s wit and my mother’s tongue assist me!
My father’s wit and my mother’s tongue assist me!
my father’s wit and my mother’s tongue assist me
Jaquenetta gets fewer lines than almost anyone in the play, but they land with precision. Her 'Man' in response to Armado's elaborate 'Maid' is the scene's best joke. Her 'With that face?' after his declaration of wonder is the second best. What's striking is that she is not written as naive or victimized — she holds her own, deflects his advances with dry accuracy, and leaves on her own terms with Dull. The critical question the play raises and never quite answers is: what does Jaquenetta think? She never expresses love for Armado. She never protests imprisonment. She simply exists in the play's lower world as its least pretentious figure — the one character who appears immune to the epidemic of wordplay that infects everyone else. In the final scene, she returns in a situation that is much less funny. Keep that in mind as a quiet thread running beneath all the sparkling wit.
Sweet invocation of a child, most pretty, and pathetical!
Sweet invocation of a child, most pretty, and pathetical!
Sweet invocation of a child, most pretty, and pathetical!
sweet invocation of a child, most pretty, and pathetical
If she be made of white and red,
Her faults will ne’er be known;
For blushing cheeks by faults are bred,
And fears by pale white shown.
Then if she fear, or be to blame,
By this you shall not know,
For still her cheeks possess the same
Which native she doth owe.
A dangerous rhyme, master, against the reason of white and red.
If she be made of white and red, Her faults will ne’er be known; For blushing cheeks by faults are bred, And fears by pale white shown. Then if she fear, or be to blame, By this you shall not know, For still her cheeks possess the same Which native she does owe. A dangerous rhyme, master, against the reason of white and red.
If she be made of white and red, Her faults will ne’er be known; For blushing cheeks by faults are bred, And fears by pale white shown. Then if she fear, or be to blame, By this you shall not know, For still her cheeks possess the same Which native she does owe. A dangerous rhyme, master, against th
if she be made of white and red, her faults will ne’er be known; for blushing cheeks by faults are b
Is there not a ballad, boy, of the King and the Beggar?
Is there not a ballad, boy, of the King and the Beggar?
Is there not a ballad, boy, of the King and the Beggar?
is there not a ballad, boy, of the king and the beggar
The world was very guilty of such a ballad some three ages since, but I
think now ’tis not to be found; or if it were, it would neither serve
for the writing nor the tune.
The world was very guilty of such a ballad some three ages since, but I think now ’tis not to be found; or if it were, it would neither serve for the writing nor the tune.
The world was very guilty of such a ballad some three ages since, but I think now ’tis not to be found; or if it were, it would neither serve for the writing nor the tune.
the world was very guilty of such a ballad some three ages since, but i think now ’tis not to be fou
I will have that subject newly writ o’er, that I may example my
digression by some mighty precedent. Boy, I do love that country girl
that I took in the park with the rational hind Costard. She deserves
well.
I will have that subject newly writ o’er, that I may example my digression by some mighty precedent. Boy, I do love that country girl that I took in the park with the rational hind Costard. She deserves well.
I will have that subject newly writ o’er, that I may example my digression by some mighty precedent. Boy, I do love that country girl that I took in the park with the rational hind Costard. She deserves well.
i will have that subject newly writ o’er, that i may example my digression by some mighty precedent
Sing, boy. My spirit grows heavy in love.
Sing, boy. My spirit grows heavy in love.
Sing, boy. My spirit grows heavy in love.
sing, boy my spirit grows heavy in love
And that’s great marvel, loving a light wench.
And that’s great marvel, loving a light wench.
And that’s great marvel, loving a light wench.
and that’s great marvel, loving a light wench
I say, sing.
I say, sing.
I say, sing.
i say, sing
Forbear till this company be past.
Forbear till this company be past.
Forbear till this company be past.
forbear till this company be past
Sir, the Duke’s pleasure is that you keep Costard safe; and you must
suffer him to take no delight, nor no penance, but he must fast three
days a week. For this damsel, I must keep her at the park. She is
allowed for the dey-woman. Fare you well.
Sir, the Duke’s pleasure is that you keep Costard safe; and you must suffer him to take no delight, nor no penance, but he must fast three days a week. For this damsel, I must keep her at the park. She is allowed for the dey-woman. Fare you well.
Sir, the Duke’s pleasure is that you keep Costard safe; and you must suffer him to take no delight, nor no penance, but he must fast three days a week. For this damsel, I must keep her at the park. She is allowed for the dey-woman. Fare you well.
sir, the duke’s pleasure is that you keep costard safe; and you must suffer him to take no delight,
I do betray myself with blushing.—Maid.
I do betray myself with blushing.—Maid.
I do betray myself with blushing.—Maid.
i do betray myself with blushing —maid
She speaks in the plainest English in the play, which makes her seem simple — but watch how each of her short lines deflates Armado's pretension with perfect accuracy.
Man.
Man.
Sir.
man
I will visit thee at the lodge.
I will visit you at the lodge.
I gonna visit you at the lodge.
i will visit you at the lodge
That’s hereby.
That’s hereby.
That’s hereby.
that’s hereby
I know where it is situate.
I know whbefore it is situate.
I know whbefore it is situate.
i know whbefore it is situate
Lord, how wise you are!
Lord, how wise you are!
Lord, how wise you are!
lord, how wise you are
I will tell thee wonders.
I will tell you wonders.
I gonna tell you wonders.
i will tell you wonders
Scene 1-2 is written almost entirely in prose — a deliberate choice. The King's court in Scene 1-1 speaks verse, at least for the solemn parts; Armado and Moth speak prose. This isn't an accident of register — in Shakespeare, prose tends to mark characters who are outside the poem's elevated world: servants, clowns, and people in comic distress. But Armado's prose is a very specific kind: it's not the plain vernacular prose of Costard and Dull, it's an ornate, latinate, clause-stacked prose that tries to sound like elevated verse and fails. It wants to be poetry and can't quite get there. Shakespeare uses this distinction with surgical precision: the lords' versified romance is essentially the same impulse as Armado's prose romance, differently dressed. Both will end up making the same mistakes. The difference is social performance, not substance.
With that face?
With that face?
With that face?
with that face
I love thee.
I love you.
I love you.
i love you
So I heard you say.
So I heard you say.
So I heard you say.
so i heard you say
And so, farewell.
And so, farewell.
And so, farewell.
and so, farewell
Fair weather after you!
Fair weather after you!
Fair weather after you!
fair weather after you
Come, Jaquenetta, away.
Come, Jaquenetta, away.
Come, Jaquenetta, away.
come, jaquenetta, away
Villain, thou shalt fast for thy offences ere thou be pardoned.
Villain, you shalt fast for your offences ere you be pardoned.
Villain, you shalt fast for your offences ere you be pardoned.
villain, you shalt fast for your offences ere you be pardoned
Well, sir, I hope when I do it I shall do it on a full stomach.
Well, sir, I hope when I do it I shall do it on a full stomach.
Well, sir, I hope when I do it I shall do it on a full stomach.
well, sir, i hope when i do it i shall do it on a full stomach
Thou shalt be heavily punished.
you shalt be heavily punished.
you shalt be heavily punished.
you shalt be heavily punished
I am more bound to you than your fellows, for they are but lightly
rewarded.
I am more bound to you than your fellows, for they are but lightly rewarded.
I am more bound to you than your fellows, for they are but lightly rewarded.
i am more bound to you than your fellows, for they are but lightly rewarded
Take away this villain. Shut him up.
Take away this villain. Shut him up.
Take away this villain. Shut him up.
take away this villain shut him up
Come, you transgressing slave, away!
Come, you transgressing slave, away!
Come, you transgressing slave, away!
come, you transgressing slave, away
Let me not be pent up, sir. I will fast being loose.
Let me not be pent up, sir. I will fast being loose.
Let me not be pent up, sir. I will fast being loose.
let me not be pent up, sir
No, sir, that were fast and loose. Thou shalt to prison.
No, sir, that were fast and loose. Thou shalt to prison.
No, sir, that were fast and loose. Thou shalt to prison.
no, sir, that were fast and loose
Well, if ever I do see the merry days of desolation that I have seen,
some shall see.
Well, if ever I do see the merry days of desolation that I have seen, some shall see.
Well, if ever I do see the merry days of desolation that I have seen, some shall see.
well, if ever i do see the merry days of desolation that i have seen, some shall see
What shall some see?
What will some see?
What gonna some see?
what shall some see
Nay, nothing, Master Moth, but what they look upon. It is not for
prisoners to be too silent in their words, and therefore I will say
nothing. I thank God I have as little patience as another man, and
therefore I can be quiet.
Nay, nothing, Master Moth, but what they look upon. It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their words, and therefore I will say nothing. I thank God I have as little patience as another man, and therefore I can be quiet.
Nay, nothing, Master Moth, but what they look upon. It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their words, and therefore I will say nothing. I thank God I have as little patience as another man, and therefore I can be quiet.
nay, nothing, master moth, but what they look upon
I do affect the very ground, which is base, where her shoe, which is
baser, guided by her foot, which is basest, doth tread. I shall be
forsworn, which is a great argument of falsehood, if I love. And how
can that be true love which is falsely attempted? Love is a familiar;
Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love. Yet was Samson so
tempted, and he had an excellent strength; yet was Solomon so seduced,
and he had a very good wit. Cupid’s butt-shaft is too hard for
Hercules’ club, and therefore too much odds for a Spaniard’s rapier.
The first and second cause will not serve my turn; the _passado_ he
respects not, the _duello_ he regards not. His disgrace is to be called
boy, but his glory is to subdue men. Adieu, valour; rust, rapier; be
still, drum, for your manager is in love. Yea, he loveth. Assist me,
some extemporal god of rhyme, for I am sure I shall turn sonnet.
Devise, wit; write, pen; for I am for whole volumes in folio.
I do affect the very ground, which is base, where her shoe, which is baser, guided by her foot, which is basest, does tread. I shall be forsworn, which is a great argument of falsehood, if I love. And how can that be true love which is falsely attempted? Love is a familiar; Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love. Yet was Samson so tempted, and he had an excellent strength; yet was Solomon so seduced, and he had a very good wit. Cupid’s butt-shaft is too hard for Hercules’ club, and therefore too much odds for a Spaniard’s rapier. The first and second cause will not serve my turn; the _passado_ he respects not, the _duello_ he regards not. His disgrace is to be called boy, but his glory is to subdue men. Adieu, valour; rust, rapier; be still, drum, for your manager is in love. Yea, he loveth. Assist me, some extemporal god of rhyme, for I am sure I shall turn sonnet. Devise, wit; write, pen; for I am for whole volumes in folio.
I do affect the very ground, which is base, where her shoe, which is baser, guided by her foot, which is basest, does tread. I shall be forsworn, which is a great argument of falsehood, if I love. And how can that be true love which is falsely attempted? Love is a familiar; Love is a devil. There is
i do affect the very ground, which is base, where her shoe, which is baser, guided by her foot, whic
The Reckoning
The main plot's comic oath-breaking is mirrored instantly in the subplot: Armado, the play's other would-be ascetic, has already fallen. Moth's running commentary — delivered in asides the audience hears but Armado doesn't — makes the scene feel like a private performance within a performance. We leave it sensing that love in this play is not an obstacle to overcome but a force of nature that makes fools of everyone.
If this happened today…
Imagine a self-serious LinkedIn thought leader who posts long threads about discipline and stoicism, then privately DMs his personal assistant — a teenager half his age who clearly has three times his emotional intelligence — asking him to name famous CEOs who were known to date interns, to prove it's fine. The assistant plays along, deadpan, listing names while adding footnotes that quietly demolish the whole premise. Then the guy's HR department delivers a complaint, and he responds by putting the complainer on a performance improvement plan, then writes a journal entry about how love is destroying him.